Here is some quality reading from a Christian bookstore, Sharing Your Faith With a Hindu, which is about how to wean your Hindu neighbors away from an ungodly, animist, and pantheist religion (Thanks Padma). Reminded me that I had years and years of Catholic indoctrination, and recently I celebrated the fact with a little tribute to that wonderful time when we can all live in a theocracy.

ROMANS 13

CHARACTERS
Pastor Jeremiah-In his fifties.
Jimmy-a parishioner. Late twenties.
Mary-His wife. Mid twenties.
Congregation-A group of nice people.

PLACE
Church

TIME
Day

PASTOR JEREMIAH
The government’s established by the Lord, you know.
And, that’s what we believe in the Christian faith.
That’s what’s stated in the scripture.

CONGREGATION
Amen!

Storm troopers come in. The Pastor and the congregation ignore them.

PASTOR JEREMIAH
Let every soul be subject unto the power. For there is no
government but of God: the power is ordained by God.

CONGREGATION
Amen!

A soldier grabs Jimmy.

JIMMY
Hey! What the…

PASTOR JEREMIAH
Romans 13:1

JIMMY
(shouting) That verse is taken out of context.

MARY
Jimmy! Oh, Jimmy!

PASTOR JEREMIAH
Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the
ordinance of God: and they that resist shall
receive to themselves damnation.

JIMMY
But I am going to heaven. I have not made any provisions of the flesh. I haven’t slept with Mary in years.

MARY
(crying) Its true. Its true.

JIMMY
Romans 13:14

CONGREGATION (chorus)
Hellooo! Too much information.

PASTOR JEREMIAH
And do this, understanding the present time.

JIMMY
But…

PASTOR JEREMIAH
The hour has come for you to wake up from your slumber,
because our salvation is nearer now than
when we first believed.

PASTOR JEREMIAH
Amen!

MARY
Oh darling Jimmy! It must be because we have debt.

JIMMY
Romans 13:6. We should have never
bought that living room set.
And put your medication on the credit card.

MARY
And now your soul belongs to the credit card company.

JIMMY
Yes.

MARY
That is how it should be.

PASTOR JEREMIAH
(In unison) And do this, understanding the present time.
The hour has come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our
salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. Romans 13:11

JIMMY
Amen.

The Storm troopers drag an unresisting Jimmy away.

Creative Commons License
Romans 13 by Shashwati Talukdar is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 United States License. In plain English, this means that you can use this work, but you must credit the author, and you can’t use it for commercial gain, unless you get in touch and make other arrangements.